Losing Love
by MyLittleHamilsonOf221B
Summary: Another Lams fic that no one really asked for. It's just a little more in depth exploration of the Laurens Interlude. I've never actually seen the musical (sadly) so I don't know how this scene goes, but this is how I imagined it.


**Okay so this is just a random Lams fic going a little more into depth in the Laurens interlude, which is the scene between Dear Theodosia and Non Stop. It's just a one shot and the dialogue is not mine, that is the actual dialogue the scene uses. I just went into the depth of how i imagined what each character was feeling, I've never actually seen the musical. Enjoy!**

The day started off normally enough. Alex had spent the morning in his study, working on a paper for General Washington detailing the final battle to Congress. Eliza was doing simple housework, and looking after Philip. All was well in the Hamilton household - for now. But devastating news was fast approaching the peaceful family.

 _Three weeks prior_

John Laurens was in the middle of a fight to the death. He had led his men into an unnecessary battle with the British, although neither side was aware of that. His plans to lead the first black battalion were going well, and he had compiled 3000 men whom he was currently commanding. Congress had approved his project, and these men would be granted freedom in exchange for their service. John felt as though he was doing what he was supposed to in his life.

John was lost in the chaos of the battlefield, and didn't notice the British soldier cocking his gun behind him. He felt a sudden, intense pain shoot through him, and everything went black. Although he could no longer see what was happening around him, he could hear the fading sounds as his breath left his body for the last time. He fought it for a split second, thinking of Alexander, his secret lover, and his daughter, who he had never even met. The best and worst moments of his life flashed through his memory, all the times that he had felt strong emotion being called to the front of his memory simultaneously. Then his last bit of strength truly faded, and he felt his body relax and his heart stop beating. A sense of calm flooded through him, and he knew of nothing more.

 _Present day_

Alexander left his study, pleased with his morning's work and feeling relaxed enough to take a break, as it were. He made his way to the kitchen, stopping in the doorway for a moment to watch his beautiful wife and son as they moved around the kitchen. Although they weren't doing anything special, to him the scene was absolutely perfect. He was snapped out of his reverie by a knock on the door. He was about to go answer when Eliza brushed passed him, already on the way, giving him a quick peck on the cheek on the way past.

He smiled, watching his wife thank the messenger at the door for his delivery and give him a couple coins, all while reading the name on the letter and bouncing baby Philip on her hip. She was so perfect, and he didn't deserve her, he knew that. Once again lost in his thoughts, he was brought back to reality by Eliza, waving her hand in front of his face.

"Alexander? There's a letter for you," Eliza said, holding it out to him.

"It's from John Laurens," he said, squinting at the name. "I'll read it later."

"No. It's from his father," Eliza informed him, her voice wavering just a tad. She knew as well as her husband what it could mean, and she wanted to prepare herself for the worst.

"His father?" Alex asked, not sure what to think. It could mean one of two things, and he wasn't quite sure which he was dreading more, especially because if it was what Eliza was thinking, and John was dead, he really didn't want to read the letter. But if he had Eliza read it and it turned out to be the other thing, if John's father had found out about them, well… it could be problematic, to say the least. He sighed inwardly. No matter what that letter contained, he couldn't face reading it. He would have to risk Eliza reading it to him instead, and if she found out about the other - ahem, shall we say... _aspect_ \- of his relationship with his best friend, so be it. "Will you read it?"

"On Tuesday the 27th, my son was killed in a gunfight against British troops retreating from South Carolina. The war was already over. As you know, John dreamed of emancipating and recruiting 3000 men for the first all-black military regiment. His dream of freedom for these men dies with him," Eliza read, struggling to keep her voice even. She knew that she would have to be strong for her husband now. John had meant so much to him, and Alex would have trouble coping, that she also knew. He would likely bury himself in his work, and it would be up to her to make sure he took care of himself. It was her duty as his wife, to help this man she loved through these tough times. "Alexander. Are you alright?"

Alex felt as though a storm had enveloped his mind and was overwhelming him, battering him down, making him weak. He could barely get a coherent thought through his mind with the news he had just heard, and he was having trouble coping. The only thing he could think of was his writing. It had always helped him before, and he knew it would help him now. It was the only way he would be able to get his thoughts down, to stay sane in the coming days. He knew Eliza would do what she could, but nothing would ever be able to truly fill the hole in his heart at the loss of John, his best friend and lover, who meant more to him than his own life. Finally a coherent thought, a sensible sentence made it through his head and to his mouth, coming out as barely more than a whisper. "I have so much work to do."


End file.
